June 15, 2010

Day 162 - Better Night Than Most But Still Cold

Today I was colder than yesterday
For apparently everyone had only "no" to say
"No I cannot spare any change, you scum"
The harsher yet unsurprising "bum"
Slapped me in the face from between their teeth
For after all I only live far beneath
In the tunnels of train-stops like a ghost
As unseen as the boring white post
And even more so bundled as I am tonight
Begging for the warmth, but only seeing the light
That cannot help blot out my demons
That puncture me in the forms of needles and pins
I can no longer read the sign that says "welcome"
I lost all those hopeful thoughts, and then some
The stairs tonight in the old abandoned shed
Leave me one more day, more alive than dead
But in the biting, raging, winds and cold
I see too much innocence, constantly sold
A warm bed with a stranger weighing a ton
Is better than the concrete with ice to stun
Lice to bite and infect your aching head gone
Forgetting what was once said about moving on
To a better place and your own warm house
Which you would share with neither rat nor mouse
That is just more of the cruelly deceitful hope
Shit and nonsense people make up to cope
With their blatant disregard for this bum's heart
The crazy dreams and terrors are ripping me apart
Into the crazy garbage can man you all fear
Who started talking to himself, since no one else could hear
The cries at night that flooded his cardboard sanctuary
The dead lie in cleaner spaces in the mortuary
Or the woman who huddles in the filth of pigeons
While all human contact she woefully shuns
Because birds stick together the way man does not
Never leaving their own kind to slowly rot
Away brains and hope, to be coated in strife
After all that is no way to live a life

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